Imagine that you are looking above to see the dark tangled branches of the forest obscure the sky. What does the forest feel like? Is it cold, hot, balmy, humid or icy? Can you smell, feel or taste anything? As you keep walking through the dark forest, the path in front of you seems endless. The atmosphere feels deathly and melancholic. Suddenly, a white wolf emerges from the trees. It looks at you with intelligent and kind eyes and begins to accompany you as you walk. Your feeling of loneliness lifts slightly as you enjoy the company of your animal friend.
Suddenly, the wolf beside you stops and stares intensely into the dark trees ahead of you. You peer ahead but cannot see anything but dark shadows. Suddenly, your wolf companion lifts up his head and lets out a loud and haunting wolf call. The hairs on the back of your neck stand up. Just after the wolf stops howling, a white light slowly emerges from deep within the forest. At first, the light is tiny and like a pinprick. But as you walk towards it, the light becomes bigger and brighter. A feeling of hope begins to fill you.
Tentatively, you start jogging towards the light. You notice that the faster you run, the bigger the light gets. The closer you move to the light, the more open and expansive you feel.
You pick up your pace. The feeling is exhilarating! Far behind you, the white wolf howls again. A feeling of wildness and freedom starts to warm you from the inside out. As you continue running, the light begins to consume your vision. The dark forest begins to quickly fade. As you look down, you notice that your legs are the legs of a wolf — without knowing it, you have experienced a total transformation — and it is liberating!
Picking up your pace, you keep running and you let out a loud howl. The piercing sound of the howl dissolves all hopelessness, sadness, and darkness left within you. The howl has completely purified you. All that remains is pure light, love, hope, power, and peace. You feel spacious and open. You are free!
Enjoy the feeling of freedom for as long as you wish. When you are ready, wiggle your fingers and toes and return back to the room.
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You may like to journal about your experience. Feel free to record this visualization, get someone to read it out to you gently, or change the meditation to your own liking. Mateo Sol is a prominent psychospiritual counselor and mentor whose work has influenced the lives of thousands of people worldwide. Born into a family with a history of drug addiction, schizophrenia, and mental illness, Mateo Sol was taught about the plight of the human condition from a young age.
We spend hundreds of hours every month writing, editing and managing this website. If you have found any comfort, support or guidance in our work, please consider donating:. We would love to hear from you:. To customize your avatar, you can upload an image to gravatar. Receive our latest posts in your inbox! Well, here I am. After hearing a spiritual reflection two days ago, I was suddenly left questioning my conception of my higher power-for the first time in my life.
It froze me. It shook me to my core. It felt like I immediately unplugged from The Divine. But this is what I asked for. I know this is what I must do. Susceptible to the fruits of this human life which, for me, are like poison. So, what now? This seems to be one of the biggest obstacles along the path. The second issue is that of smashing the ego. The issue cannot be destroyed, we can only become aware of it fully and in doing so free ourselves from our enslavement to it. Never been the kind of guy to post on or even visit a website like this one but the meditation included at the bottom of this page is eerily similar and prophetic to the version of the dark night that I have been experiencing for almost two years now.
I have a friend who very closely resembles the white wolf character and I am currently standing in the darkest part of the forest, so to speak, waiting for the wolf to howl. Do you have any advice for a wandering soul like myself? Both excited and terrified for what the future holds.
Thanks Electric. This literally happened to me. I suddenly deteriorated from a depressive but functioning state into all I can describe is inhalation! I believe god was punishing me and I was allergic to his glory the sun. Made me cry reading your post as I knew what I went through was spiritual. I was hospitalised and medication did nothing for 3 months, I finally resigned myself to god and the power of hope and began to get better from there.
Now I feel the best I ever felt! Despite my life still being rebuilt from the Chaos. My night lasted 6 months. Understanding helped me to navigate the dark night more effectively then ignorance would have. To: anyone going through the dark night Learn the lessons of the dark night.
For me i had to hold onto life while letting go of deep parts of me. It was hard but not impossible. In the middle of the night I wrote in a journal how I had searched and could not find peace, I was in utter despair. I went back and read a couple sentences I wrote. There I saw the answer and it was complete surrender to the fight. I lost, I give up. In an instant i felt a sensation in my body and felt like my mind was clear and open.
My intense fear was gone and I felt reborn. This experience happened several times in different ways. Going back 6 years ago I came out of an illness that debilitated me for 3 years. I was going through menopause at the time. I had lost the me that I was before. All of me was gone, nothing I enjoyed interested me now. I didnt know it then but later figured out that I had been a perfectionist, that was gone.
I felt lost and depressed. This loss of my self scared me so much I developed severe anxiety. Everyday I fretted about how I could get me back. I lost all confidence and became desperately insecure. I felt no trust or security, I could not even conjure up how it had felt.
I was given an antidepressant and 2 months later my husband made a statement and like a light switch flipped, my mind was taken over and I had no control over it. I called it the deceiver. I was soon diagnosed with OCD in the form of obsessional jealousy. As I have learned here, I think my shadow took the reins. I was absolutely tortured and had 2 or 3 panic attacks a day. I went through CBT exposure therapy, the gold standard treatment for ocd.
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I put everything into it but at the end felt like every ounce of self worth was gone and I felt I was having a breakdown. I knew I had to heal myself. Since this began and through 5 years, I questioned everything I believed, including God and all I was taught growing up in a fundamentalist church, guilt, fear of eternal damnation ensued but in the end realized I was brainwashed with 9 hours of church a week.
I still believe in God but he us now love. All of my past came at me without my bidding, trauma, abuse was finally unburied and healed. I made progress step by step as I read , researched, reflected and wrote in my journal. I wanted to be alone. I was learning slowly who the new me was, which I now learned here is my true self, fake persona left me at the beginning. I realized my life had been a fantasy in mind of the perfect life that I wanted. I became aware of every wound from my husband and raged at him for 5 years.
On your website I had him read the article on self awareness which he lacks, he followed a link and showed me what he read. I was not very surprised, but he was devastated, he had emotionally abused me for 36 years. I had always thought he was superior and everything was my fault until I was awakening but I didnt know it was abuse. I have recovered from OCD with my final moment of enlightenment 4 months ago. I have made great progress with so much.
The most beautiful of these is self love and strength from within. I am no longer a doormat, people pleaser. My husbands reign as the superior us over, I accept nothing but equality. When he slips into abuse of me, I am strong, calm and hold him accountable.
I am still on my journey but I feel more myself than I ever have. I am serving all of my family with what I have learned. I feel like I have wisdom to pass on that will aid them in life and heal wounds. I feel love and compassion for people, anybody I chance meet, and show them they are seen, heard and appreciated, my reward is their smile, though I need none. This transformation still ongoing was not my choice, it was sprung on me out of the blue. Please help me here, how does this happen without my choice?
Who did this? Was it my spirit, the Devine? I just gave you a brief summary, my experience was very complex. Throughout, I came upon answers through many avenues and wondered, how did that happen? It seemed I was being guided. Thank you so much for this article, I think this is a serious issue and the way you have written it is beyond beautiful. I had one of these experiences two and a half years ago, a huge breakdown from drugs and alcohol addiction that led me to quit my life and pack all of my things and say goodbye to all of my childhood friends.
I managed to pull myself out of it and I re arranged my entire life and moved to India. Now it suddenly happened again. This time it is much much worse, I have felt suicidal and no worthiness left in the world. I think the first time it happens, it is just you being kicked out of your first layer of the ego.
I spent the past 2 and a half years studying and living through the teachings of yoga, ayurveda, vedanta, tantra, reading everything on esoteric wisdom and living all over the world meeting healers, shamans, yogis and all kinds. All this time I never looked within. This year this veil lifted, I tried to resist it but no matter what I did everything came crumbling down. My beliefs, my thoughts, my identity, my prayer, my connection.
There is so much darkness. I have no identity anymore. All I know is that another layer of my ego has gone, and it feels so bad because I really thought that I had removed my ego the first time. Her advice to me which I want to share here is that you just have to let your identity go. If you observe yourself enough you will see that someone else is making decisions for you. So who is this person? The reason we fall in this dark night of the soul is because the Soul wants you to start working from this place within you, and stop letting your ego make choices for you.
All we can do in this moment of darkness is become the witness, become the observer. Try to sing mantras really loud — Krishna Das has incredible music online for free, drink fresh green juices, watch the sunrise and sunset, write down as much as you can, and just cry and cry and embrace that your ego is dying. Thank you for sharing this. I am in the 4th or 5th iteration of this experience, and it just gets stronger each time. I just want you to know there are others whose egos are dying as well, and as much as this is abject hell, we are all contributing to higher frequencies and a greater love.
The infinite light is always there. I want to thank you for this article, I receive your emails and this was at the bottom so I said what the hell and clicked on it! A friend of mine had told me a couple of months ago to say I no longer needed to repeat certain lessons in my life and I have just been angry, sad, numb, bluh, trying to fake it. I was questioning what was my purpose, last year was so great, until I got laid off from my favorite job etc.
So finding this explains everything!! I asked to let go of the things, I am shedding that crap.
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I am lighter, healthier!! It so makes sense!! A million times peace and love! I was meant to see this!! You know, at one point, I would lay in bed at night and I would just think and think and think. I would ask myself, why am I alive? Why do we exist?
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We will always want more. We are never satisfied with what we have. I still ask myself questions like this. Is there really another life? Sometimes I have to stop and tell myself how blessed I am. I have a roof over my head and the perfect soul mate. Sometimes I feel like this is hell.
This life we live, because, the things that happen and the things we see, It marks us. Long story short I lost everything I identified with in a spam of a couple of months. My condo, my girlfriend of 6 years, my career, my friends, my hobbies… my life! As I was closing up shop with my life abroad, sitting in my empty condo that I managed to sell swiftly, closed my bank account, jobless, heartbroken, alone, packed to fly in the next few days. It was such a drastic change in such a short amount of time. I was always the type that never faced my emotions, and would rather distract myself with activities or numb myself with substances.
I just sat there completely numb, yet bewildered at the same time. I was sitting in silence, lights dimmed, it was dark and cold outside.
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Then all of a sudden, out of nowhere I started to ball my eyes out for a good 15 minutes for the first time in my adult life. I thought I was losing my mind. So many thoughts and emotions came crashing down on me, I felt like I was drowning. Then suddenly, everything became silent and still… I could see things with so much clarity, it was surreal, there are no words to describe it. And all of a sudden, I realized I was at peace with it all. I was still a bit shook up. The next few days before my flight back, I walked for hours every day at least 6 hours.
I lost interest in the trivial things I used to fill my time with, I was not interested in smoking weed or drinking alcohol. I just wanted to be by myself and my feelings… my best friend came to see me and he noticed something was different about me. I was just ok being by myself and not do anything, some days I would just be sitting for hours, and not a thought goes through my head but I was still very focused and sober. I would laugh at myself, because it actually felt peaceful. I eventually googled my experience and figured out what I went through… the dark night of the soul — the ego death — the spiritual awakening.
What a journey KBS, thank you for sharing it. Trigger warning. This is a topic I have been experiencing for a number of years. Its not recommended to look at these if your in a bad place at the moment as they might make things worse. Your better of trying some smudge sticks and listening to some hz music. My experience of the dark night is a complete stripping down of who you are and somehow the universe makes this happen using any way it can to make you into a wreck, an egoic death. The story of Dark Souls is best described as laissez-faire.
The series is in no hurry to actually tell you what's happening, opting to let you find out yourself by exploring the world, chatting up rare friendly NPCs, and picking through scraps of lore. Which is fine and all - Dark Souls has never been about story - but it does mean the overarching plot can be a bit confusing at times. So much so, in fact, that even the folks at From Software often don't know what's going on. Miyazaki explained that he writes stories to suit gameplay, not the other way around, which certainly lines up with Dark Souls' approach.
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