Watching the movies I pick out over and over again without complaining. Listening to me vent without looking at your phone or brushing my worries off to move onto something else. Sitting with me when I need to cry.
Reassuring me when I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing. The mornings that start with you delivering me a cup of coffee in bed before you head to work are the BEST. It may seem like a small act of love, but it feels like a big, giant hug from you. And I love getting those from you, too. You're the sole weekend diaper changer because you're at work during most of the weekday changes. You're the laundry master, the middle-of-the-night potty helper, the toy assembler, the hair washer and consequently, the soap-getter-out-of-the-eyer.
All the little things that you do for me, for us, add up to a huge pile of gratefulness, respect, validation and appreciation. They show me—like I aim to show you by the way I care for you—that you see me as a human. Not just the mother of your children. Not just the family chef. Not just the breastfeeder. Not just the chauffeur. Not just the magic maker, boo-boo healer, or errand-runner. You see that woman you fell in love with 11 years ago. The woman I've grown into. The woman I'm aspiring to be; always aiming to better myself. You notice the effort I'm putting in and you look me in the eyes to let me know you're proud.
You see me trying to dig out from under all this motherhood and find myself again. Did I get lost? I'm not sure exactly. I mostly think I've just evolved. Am evolving. But I do think I've lost touch with myself a little along the way, and you're always encouraging me to find my way back. Thank you for the little stuff, the big stuff. The invisible stuff, the grandeur stuff.
The simple stuff, the complicated stuff. The stuff that comes easy to you, the stuff that you'd probably rather not do but you do anyway because you love me. For years we have been warned that women who are pregnant or trying to conceive should not consume any alcohol for the sake of the baby's health, and now a new study suggests dads, too, should completely abstain from alcohol before trying to conceive. The research was published this week in the European Journal of Preventive Cardiology and found an association between dad's drinking before conception and congenital heart defects a common birth defect in infants.
One of the study's authors, Dr. Jiabi Qin, says heterosexual couples who are trying to conceive should stop consuming alcohol long before the conception date. Qin says would-be-moms should abstain for a year before they start to try and potential fathers should stop drinking alcohol six months before trying for a pregnancy.
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Now, if your male partner or you, if you're the male had a couple of beers in the months leading up to your pregnancy, don't worry. According to Dr.
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Qin, the team, "observed a gradually rising risk of congenital heart diseases as parental alcohol consumption increased. The relationship was not statistically significant at the lower quantities. Basically, if dad had a few drinks in the weeks and months before you got pregnant it's not a big deal, but if your male partner is drinking a lot while you're trying to get pregnant they may want to stop. The research doesn't show that the binge-drinking causes heart defects, only that there is a strong association between them.
More research is needed but those behind the science suggest dads should stop drinking ahead of conception. This makes sense, as we know that dad's preconception health can also have a significant effect on a baby's development. Previous research into the impacts of dad's diet and caffeine intake highlight the need for education and intervention for fathers, because making some healthy lifestyle changes preconception could lead to better birth outcomes. For men who want to become fathers, understanding that their own lifestyle choices could improve birth outcomes can be empowering.
Dad's diet, alcohol consumption, age and even stress levels can have an impact on the child. It truly does take two people to make a baby and we need to stop discounting father's genetic and day-to-day contributions. Dads matter, and their health matters so much more than we understand. Guys, you may not be fathers yet, but you can already start taking care of your baby by taking care of yourself.
The summer is over and back to school season has practically passed, too. Halloween is on the horizon, and after that, there's only one date that's sticking out in our minds: November 6. It's not a national holiday, but it's the day Aldi releases its cheese advent calendar and we couldn't be more excited to have an excuse to snack on cheese once a day until Christmas. And apparently we are in good company. That's a lot of cheese.
Aldi hasn't released exactly which cheeses will be in the calendar this year, but gathering from the phrases on the packaging savory, nutty and rich Red Leicester cheese we're sure there's going to be a cheesy option for everyone—or just for you, we're not judging. More importantly, it's everything but a yellow, rubbery single that you likely toss on your child's sandwiches. Spread some holiday cheer and find your nearest Aldi here.
And, if you're not cheese-obsessed, Aldi also has a great assortment of other advent calenders coming soon. Motherly is your daily momlife manual; we are here to help you easily find the best, most beautiful products for your life that actually work.
Building Resilience in Children
We share what we love—and we may receive a commission if you choose to buy. You've got this. You may not know her name, but you have probably seen photographer Alicia Atkins' work before. As the owner of Alicia Samone Photography, Alicia has dedicated herself to educating the public about breastfeeding by getting the public used to seeing it. Her annual group breastfeeding photoshoots have been going viral for years now, and Alicia recently explained to Motherly why breastfeeding portraits are so important to her art. It's my goal to make all moms comfortable and confident in breastfeeding whenever they want.
However they want," she explains. Legally, moms can breastfeed in public in every state and mothers should not be shamed for nursing, pumping or feeding their baby a bottle of formula in public. Baby's gotta eat, and as Alicia's photos prove, the act of nourishing a baby should be applauded, not hidden.
Alicia is known for her group breastfeeding photos , which bring mamas together for beautiful photoshoots. For the last five years she has gathered moms together for beautiful group shots, and she knows that the art she and her subjects are creating is making a difference in the wider world.
I have gotten so many messages from moms saying they now breastfeed in public with no fear. They don't hide in the bathroom. And they are stronger and feel supported when they speak up to people about it," she tells Motherly. The various group shots are stunning, but Alicia's individual portraits are equally inspiring, capturing intimate moments between mamas and their babies. Alicia is a talented photographer with an eye for beauty and she sees so much beauty in the relationship between mothers and babies. For Alicia it's very important to show the world that motherhood doesn't have to be hidden.
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She doesn't want moms heading to the bathroom to nurse when they would rather stay at the party. She doesn't want mothers to feel like breastfeeding makes them less worthy of being seen. Every mother Alicia photographs has a different story and is living her journey in a different body. For Alicia it is important to celebrate all mothers and expand the public's definition of beauty.
In some of her portraits Alicia's subjects strip down for skin-to-skin contact and show not only the beauty of breastfeeding but the beauty of postpartum bodies and body confidence. Help us spread the word about the Resilience Booster! Malhomes, V. New York: Oxford University Press. I think that making kids feel safe, and protected at a child care is really smart. It would seem that going to these places and see how they work would tell you how safe the place it. I need to do that before my kids go to child care. Like Like. You are commenting using your WordPress.
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You are commenting using your Twitter account. You are commenting using your Facebook account. Notify me of new comments via email. Notify me of new posts via email. Based on the tool, here are 6 vital things you can do to boost resilience in your kids: Provide structure Children need to know what to expect and what is expected of them. Talk about emotions Resilient children have a close, warm relationship with their parent or caregiver. Model and discuss self-control and problem-solving In addition to discussing emotions, the next key step is discussing how to appropriately express or release those feelings.
Build their communication skills Kids who have a strong understanding and use of language are more likely to have successful interactions. Work with your child care provider or school Look for a child care environment that mirrors the safe and nurturing environment that you have created at home. Ideally, you should seek out child care providers who: make your children feel safe, protected and valued, show sensitivity to their needs and feelings, interact regularly with them, and play games that foster problem-solving, self-control and discussion of feelings and emotions.
Hashtag it with resiliencebooster on your Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Pinterest posts. Share your tips and photos of what you use as a resiliencebooster with your own kids. Reference: Malhomes, V. Share this: Tweet. The stress comes from families who are always on the go, who are overscheduled with extracurricular activities, and ever-present peer pressure. They need to be resilient in order to succeed in life. That is why Kenneth Ginsburg, M.
The new book provides a dynamic resource to help parents and caregivers build resilience in children, teens, and young adults. Competence describes the feeling of knowing that you can handle a situation effectively. We can help the development of competence by:. Developing close ties to family and community creates a solid sense of security that helps lead to strong values and prevents alternative destructive paths to love and attention. You can help your child connect with others by:.
Children need to develop a solid set of morals and values to determine right from wrong and to demonstrate a caring attitude toward others. Children need to realize that the world is a better place because they are in it. Understanding the importance of personal contribution can serve as a source of purpose and motivation. Teach your children how to contribute by:. Positive coping lessons include:. Children who realize that they can control the outcomes of their decisions are more likely to realize that they have the ability to bounce back. You can try to empower your child by:. Ginsburg summarizes what we know for sure about the development of resilience in kids by the following:.
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There is no simple answer to guarantee resilience in every situation. But we can challenge ourselves to help our children develop the ability to negotiate their own challenges and to be more resilient, more capable, and happier. This article was featured in Healthy Children Magazine. To view the full issue, click here.
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